Soulbroken

Soul broken is a pain that no words can really describe.
I try very hard to keep stuff funny and light hearted or helpful.
  But I am exhausted, to the very core of my being.
I constantly feel like there is no meaning to anything.

That the world is imploding and I can’t do anything to help, I’m sure many others feel it to…
I often doubt the very things, that at their peak, give me a sense of wonder.
I feel lost.
I feel lonely,
I feel an achy void in the space where hope used to live and it’s hard to grieve that and while trying to heal.
Sometimes… I don’t feel anything at all.
And I’m okay with feeling nothing over feeling empty.
Now…
What is SUPER unhelpful  and unnecessary is when people shun ideologies beyond their comfort zone.

I’m sorry you think I’m stupid and my beliefs are naive.

I’m sorry it makes you angry I seem childish.

I’m sorry it’s the illogical choice and that is dissapointing.

However… i will continue to do what works. I will believe what I do because it gives me something else to focus on besides nothingness.
Isn’t that, in and of itself, enough?
So what if it makes me have a “false sense of control”.
So what if it’s wrong?
What the fuck is it to anyone else?

I feel like I’ve been traveling down the wrong road further and further. I cant seem to figure out where I missed the turn or how to find my way back…